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devilishsaint
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Name: Isabell
Country: Malaysia
Metro: Kuala Lumpur
Birthday: 9/6/1991
Gender: Female
Interests: Books! books! books! literature, art, music, dance of all kinds, oratory activities, sports that require a certain amount of stamina, movies and did i mention books?
Expertise: Willing to learn, open to new ideas with given thought, the ability to take part in anything and everything i want..feeling the rhythm in music, oratory skills
Occupation: Student
Industry: Other
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
MSN: Shredded_flower926@hotmail.com
Member Since:
6/18/2005
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| http://www.devilishsaint.wordpress.com
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| No my blog posts are not intended to sound depressing. Just so happens things have not been all that great. I never went to many funerals as a kid. Wait a minute I never went. And suddenly just one month after nana leaves, I have to endure the fact that the youngest brother of the Dass family, Arnold Esmond. My beloved uncle at the age 41 had to go too.
Life ends unexpectedly.
Its not easy when you recall the sounds of heart breaking agony. Like when you hear your parents cry out loud in total despair. It was totally unexpected and it hit us all like freezing cold water. We all thought we were calling in to find out if My uncle was ok after he collapsed and my dad got a message saying he did.
Not to hear the words..that he has passed away. He was all the way in Bali. On holiday...for the first time in 3 years. According to people there he really enjoyed his holiday. That's why we chose to do the burial there.
Its barely 4 days till my grandmother's 40th day of prayer and the mourning to end. and now another mourning period begins.
Honestly though, I have a lot to smile about when I think of Esmond mama. like the fact that he gives the best hugs in the world. No one can out do those hugs. The last i felt it, he held me and carried me up. That was just a month ago.
Everyone rushed down for the funeral in Bali. Everyone being immidiate family. There were two loyal friends of the family who came down as well. When you see a body before you. somehow you know the soul no longer resides within. Doesn't mean you dont cry your heart out when you realise you are not going to see the person again.
Life ends, but love doesn't have to. I want to appreciate everyday of life. And i promise myself to learn from what my uncle and grandmother have taught me.
Not to hold anything in the heart,
to live like there is no tomorrow,
not to get caught up in life that we forget we are living it
To show how much you care for people :
A) be it a smile
B) or a hug
Because you never know if you will get the chance to do it again.
Life ends..but it doesn't mean love has to.
I love you Arnold Esmond. One of the kindest most loveable people you could ever have in a lifetime.
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| Almost Christmas!! I'm So Nervous! How exciting! It always gets to me..
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| I am really going to miss my grandmother. I'll be honest. One minute your here the next I wont be able to see you laughing or smiling. Or wake you up and hug you. Tell you how much I love you. This Christmas is going to be just for her. We're going to sing our hearts out to the carols. Open presents under the Christmas Tree and I'll that walk with her i promised. Down the lines of memory. We have to visit her. We always visit her.
Giving the eulogy at church the other day. At first proved difficult, but nanna look! I made it through without stopping and crying. I may have sounded choked with emotion but who wouldn't be.
When you love someone so much you tend to miss them. Its natural behavior. I miss her. I think about her. And i smile when I think what an excellent and blessed person she is.
7 days of prayer and 40 days till its all over. But she is still in each and every one of us.
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| What happens when you drag someone and leave them on the end of a string, keep them waiting tied up high. you expect them to bear with it and then that string snaps. Patience only goes so far, and so does manipulation.
What happens when sorry just does not cut it anymore?
Sorry is no longer what is meant to be said. Sometimes it makes one wonder maybe its better to just cut that string yourself and push it all away. Then why are there times your arm shakes and struggles to cut that single line...
and so i quote
Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came
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